Hey Everyone I have to postpone the Improv gigs in DC and Arlington Texas to go on a tour through Australia. They will be rescheduled later in the year. The KC Improv isn’t open yet so that gig is moving to August and my weekend at Parlor Live in Bellevue Wa is moved from April 29 to June 10-12.
I know I haven’t been to DC or KC for a couple of years and I’ve never worked the Arlington club but hey, how many chances will I get to hang in Australia? they need funny too y’know
Sorry for any inconvenience and changes of plans. I do appreciate your continued support and if this messes up your plans, feel free to curse at me, just laugh while you do it.

Thanks

March 3rd, 2010
Categories: The Blog . Author: admin . Comments: No Comments

( from a fan)
Ronnie Blackwell, Alright Alonzo it’s about a week and you haven’t started and online fight so get on your job.

Well Ronnie I usually like stirring the pot but honestly, I got nothing left.
The biggest political movement in the US is a bunch of angry racists calling themselves the “Tea Party” and no one will call them on it. Not one reporter, writer or member of the media with any clout or following will ask why there are no minorities in the tea party or how Obama has taken their country from them. There have been no tax increases, wall street is up, housing prices have stabilized and most experts are saying the worst of the recession is behind us and recovery has begun, yet Obama is taking their country away.
You know things have to be bad when I agree with Ahhnold
http://www.miamiherald.com/2010/02/22/1493895/schwarzenegger-backs-obama-on.html
They calls him intellectually shallow
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/nation/stories/DN-armey_19nat.ART.State.Edition2.4b82528.html
Just last year he was intellectually elite
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0808/12414.html
Baraack still wastes his time with this dream of bipartisanship when the republicans have proven they will vote no to anything he proposes yet he continues to reach out, why? They don’t even want to come to the healthcare debate
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100208/ap_on_bi_ge/us_health_care_overhaul
The republicans say no to everything. They even said there were no terrorist attacks under Bush. Guess that whole 9/11 thing was the liberal media
http://beltwayblips.dailyradar.com/article/giuliani-says-no-domestic-terror-attacks-under-bush/
Oh and it was the liberal media that let this one go. Nice reporting Mr Stephanopolous. This is the same reporter that looked Bush in the face when Bush said iraq policy was never ” stay the course” and didn’t ask a question. Does George Stephanopolous even listen to people he’s talking to or does he just look at his hair all day.
On another note, why is it not terrorism when a suicidal guy flies a plane into an IRS building. Isn’t that an attack on the government. I guess it just depends on the pilot. Somehow if his name was Omar I think it would have been viewed differently. Don’t worry, it will be terrorism when its used to prove Obama is soft on terror. Maybe we should waterboard his family.
Back to the dems
Get some balls Baraack and the rest of you democrats. You have the majority, pass your laws. Learn a little something from former president Cheyney.
I never liked Bush or Cheyney but when they wanted something done they did it and told congress to make it legal. Now thats good government. Or else you’re just not a good American.
BTW , why won’t Cheyney die, over and over , chest pains, new hearts, surgeries, but Cheyney just won’t die. Perhaps if everyone was entitled to his healthcare there would be no debate and the republican plan would be a good one. Of course if Biden keeps arguing with him he doesn’t have to go away. Biden’s arguments build Cheyney’s credibility. Just blame Cheyney for stuff. The republicans were still blaming Clinton for the economy and housing in 2008. When will the dems learn?
Speaking of credibility. My hats off to you Ms. Palin. You read insults toward Obama using a TelePrompTer off notes written in your hand and no one said a thing. You’re against hope, change and book learnin and the only one to call you on it was a comic reporter named Colbert . Madam Palin actually was offended and defended the word retard in a 24hr period. Its offensive when Rahm Emmanuel says it but satire when Rush says it. I’ll be damned if I’m going to argue with Palin on the subject of retards. Colbert video was brilliant but viacom took it down.
So lets recap, Obama’s too nice, Biden helps Cheyney, no one questions Tea Party and Palin rules the airwaves and none of this crap even matters because the supreme court has said its legal for corporations to buy elections.
http://www.mercurynews.com/news/ci_14242620
I give up , where does the line for violent anarchy form?
Hey maybe if I buy a Canadian hockey shirt they’ll let me stay.
Whats that? The Canadians lost in hockey? Damn , you just can’t count on anything anymore

February 23rd, 2010
Categories: The Blog . Author: admin . Comments: No Comments

I haven’t been blogging here like I should Let me start by saying its good to see Marvel comics calling out the tea party for what they really are. Some angry white people mad theres a black president. I do love the tea baggers line and I’m sorry Marvel apologized.
If the tea party made any legit complaint they might not come across as racist but considering their taxes havent gone up nor has any of their other rhetoric come true and they keep yelling” giveus our country back” its hard not to see it as racial. They were happy to be tea baggers until they found that might be gay and gays are on their hate list.
Well at least their new leader Ms Palin is an unbiased intellectual giant

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ynews/20100211/ts_ynews/ynews_ts1129

February 11th, 2010
Categories: The Blog . Author: admin . Comments: No Comments

So the house passes a health care bill. Whoop de doo, they still caved on abortion. The plan says the government insurance cannot be used to pay for abortion.
So what are the republicans saying? The government must stay out of health care unless its to tell women what to do.
John Boehner of Ohio the House republican leader said “This bill is the greatest threat to freedom that I have seen” but I guess its ok as long as you add a caveat taking away more freedom from women.
I love this logic. Why stop here?
We are fully against discrimination, unless its against gay people or blacks in Louisiana.
We believe you are innocent until proven guilty, unless you’re an illegal alien, well for that matter unless you’re Mexican or Mexican looking , we don’t have time to check lets just round ‘em up.
Everyone should pay their fare share, unless you make money from capitol gains or hedge funds or inherit wealth, then you can’t be bothered with taxes.
The republicans in the senate have already said they will do everything in their power to stop the health care bill. They don’t have an alternate plan, they just want to stop this one. That’s that can do spirit that has made America great.
Well they won’t have to worry about much fight from the democrats. The Dems are only good at fighting each other.
Alright you guys let’s get to work and try to divide up that lobbyist money evenly as possible.
How great would it be if Congress and the Senate were the last Americans to be insured rather than the first
Damn I wish this reality was one of my jokes.
Be careful and don’t get the swine flu, oh I’m sorry, I mean the H1N1 I forgot, the pork lobby paid to change the name

November 10th, 2009
Categories: The Blog . Author: admin . Comments: No Comments

To all those protesters whining about wanting their country back I ask
Well what part of your country did you lose?
There’s a justice of the peace in Louisiana that refuses to grant a marriage license to an interracial couple so you still have your racism.
Glenn Beck is at the top of the bestseller list so you still have your hatred.
Sarah Palin’s book is setting pre sale records so you still have your stupid.
The Republicans automatically vote no on any bill supported by Obama so you still have your partisanship.
Both wars still going on, you got that goin for ya.
Swine flu has the need for irrational fear covered.
Nation riveted to a shiny balloon so the media is still worthless, easily distracted and incapable of investigation.
American Idol is still Number one.
Gays still aren’t getting married so Jesus is happy.
Still no national plan for health care so once again Jesus is happy. He never would of went for some socialist commie crap like health care.
Guns are still for sale so when those sumbitches in gubmint come to get’cha you can be ready.
Still taking off our shoes at the airport, no water bottles are gettin thru and we still have the orange alert no one understands going on so the terrorists haven’t won.
So how have you lost your country?
Oh yeah, Tiger didn’t win a major this year
Son of a bitch, I stand corrected. This country has gone to s**t.

October 27th, 2009
Categories: The Blog . Author: admin . Comments: No Comments