I didn’t even want to comment on this cuz I’m still trying to get worked up over gay marriage but here goes
As anyone who’s read any of my rants would guess I’m gonna go with religious freedom on this one. Yes the Muslims should be allowed to build their center. It’s a bad idea; it’s not in good taste but in a country where Jersey Shore is considered high art we won’t debate taste
It’s insane. Baraack’s for religious freedom. He’s a Muslim
Tea party for religious persecution. They’re great Americans
Sorry right wing if you support Dr Laura yelling nigger from the rooftops you gotta support freedoms you don’t like. Look at it this way, you have freedom to label Obama a Muslim Kenyan communist and you know that’s not true. See isn’t freedom fun
Now I know you can’t build a Christian church in Saudi but that’s not a free country. We’re better than them, right? We don’t even like Saudis. Unless they’re George Bush friendly Saudis, then they’re alright.
Left wing? Are you kidding? Way to go Nancy, Harry. Keep exercising that freedom to back away from any conviction. Pelosi and Reid support Obama. Sort of, if you approve, if not they’ll be happy to change their minds.
Nothing like a democrat, they support change and they will change every time the wind blows.
So you say it’s not about freedom. It’s about where the money comes from.
Really, so now we can stop people because we don’t like where their money comes from?
Well can people who don’t like what Rush says stop him from buying Bentleys and young women? Can people who don’t like what rappers say stop them from buying Bentleys and young women? No! This is America dammit and I’m hoping that enough people like what I say so I can buy a Bentley and some young women.
Zoning ok, that’s it, we can use zoning to stop what we’ don’t like. We don’t have strip clubs next to schools. OK but we don’t allow ANY strip clubs next to schools. We don’t say no Muslim strippers but Christian strippers are ok even though we know Christian strippers are better. What would Jesus want his strippers to wear burkas or catholic school skirts? Not even close
There may be a capitalist solution? Offer owner more for building. This is America. The top bidder wins. Ask any politician.
Is the Islamic center a good idea? No, but freedom allows for bad ideas. We’re just finishing up one in Iraq.
Welcome home troops. Thanks for your service. Freedom isn’t free.

August 25th, 2010
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O’Reilly attacks Jennifer Aniston over single motherhood the way Dan Quayle attacked Murphy Brown (Candice Bergen) over single motherhood yet Bristol Palin is a great American hero.
Candice Bergen, the actress wasn’t a single mom, her character was.
Jennifer Aniston is not a single mom, it’s her character in the movie Switch.
Bristol Palin is a single mom, so is the character she plays for about 20 grand a speech.
Could it be that since FOX news is so often fiction they would rather debate in that realm?
http://www.popeater.com/2010/08/11/bill-oreilly-jennifer-aniston-video/

August 17th, 2010
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The Arlington Improv is moving from October to March 2011 and the Cleveland and Ontario Improv dates are cancelled, sorry folks

July 20th, 2010
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We are actually living in the reality of all the apocalypse movies at once. I love it. The latest is Oakland has given up in crime
http://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/local-beat/Suffer-These-Crimes-in-Oakland-Dont-Call-the-Cops-98266509.html
That’s right, burglary, grand theft, extortion, hey don’t call us cops, we got our own problems. I believe this was the opening of Robocop
We’ve got banks, oil companies and any other corporate interests loaded with cash allowed to buy government ala the first Rollerball movie (for the sake of decency we won’t mention the second rollerball movie)
http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2010/01/supreme-court-lifts-curbs-on-corporate-political-donations.html
We’ll have a city of energy in no time. You kids better learn to skate
Texas school board wants to do away with all book learnin besides the bible. The Book of Eli in reverse I guess
http://www.capecodtoday.com/blogs/index.php/2010/05/25/the-texas-school-book-controversy?blog=94
Finally, we have a black president like Morgan Freeman in Deep Impact or Danny Glover in 2012
Yep, it’s over. I’m going out to run up some debt. I wanna die owing

July 16th, 2010
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Here’s a comment from a guy named Tim who was at my show in DC Saturday night. I haven’t posted for but i figured the comment and response were worth it.
Tim wrote

Alonzo –

I saw your show at the DC Improv Saturday night. It was pretty good until the routine about anyone who doesn’t like President Obama is a racist, and anyone who is in the Tea Party is a racist. Yes, it’s provocative, etc., but largely inaccurate and definitely not funny. If it remains in your act, please at least consider opening up your point of view to our president’s own anti-white writings (look no further than his two books where he wrote about his “animosity towards his mother’s white race”). How about direct associations with several anti-white racists like pastor Jeremiah Wright, with self-described communist and anti-white racist Van Jones and with anti-white racist Louis Gates. Ignoring this is unfair, or it’s at least abundant fodder for joke telling that can possibly offer equal satire.

Actually Alonzo, snow is colorless, but your formmail won’t accept this verification code.

Bust of luck!!

i respond

Hey Tim, i’m going to reply to this only because I’m confident you also wrote to Glen Beck and Rush Limbaugh and Ms. Palin asking them to express opposite points of view.
I didn’t say anyone who doesn’t like Obama is racist, that’s what you chose to hear.
the Tea party isn’t a racist movement? many would beg to differ. If you check out the link or the youtube videos, I don’t see mention of taxes
http://www.philly2philly.com/politics_community/politics_community_articles/2010/3/21/43497/tea_party_has_become_movement_racism_

Now if “We want our country back” is about taxes why is no one at the rally mentioning how low taxes in 2009 are. Lowest tax bills since 1950. You know, back when black people were at the back of the bus
http://www.usatoday.com/money/perfi/taxes/2010-05-10-taxes_N.htm

I know the Tea Party isn’t upset about spending because I didn’t hear them hollering about ” their country” when Bush was running up the deficit.
I wonder what you would say if Obama quit the presidency tomorrow to make a fortune on the speaker circuit. Giving up a job he was elected to for personal gain, would that make him a great american? I doubt it

I read Obama’s books. i can’t say i remember anything about his animosity toward the white race but i can’t say definitively its not in there so i’ll leave that point alone. Jeremiah Wright spoke about the chickens coming home to roost after 9/11. Could that be because after 9/11 Bin laden said the reason was US policies in Israel and threats toward lebanon and Palestinians
http://www.seattlepi.com/frontpage/seattle_pima1×220041030.pdf
Now I think bin laden is wrong , evil and crazy but why is it racist to say we were attacked based on our foreign policy.
Oh and since you’re working the guilt by association angle i’m sure you were out there protesting when Bush let his friends, the Bin Ladens leave the country right after 9/11 when all flying was restricted
http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/view/59199

Louis Gates is racist. How dare he get upset when a white cop arrested him for breaking into his own house. I’m sure if a black cop treated you that way you would thank him for protecting you.

OK, enough of this. White males still control commerce, banking, the judicial branch of government and the vast majority of the legislature. They dominate government on the state and local level along with most media outlets. What are you guys so afraid of?
A black comic? A black president?Relax you’ll survive
A white guy telling me about racism is pretty much like me telling a mother about pregnancy. I might recognize it when i see it but she knows how it feels.

Finally, the funniest thing here is you telling me what’s funny or not funny. The hundreds of people around you laughing thought i was funny. NBC thinks I’m funny. When i did Last Comic Standing America voted me as funny. The Tonight Show, Conan O’Brien and Comedy Central think I’m funny. Comedy festivals around the world including Montreal, Sydney, Ireland and England think i’m funny. I’ve made my living for the past 13 years just based on being funny and NOW you tell me I’m not funny.
Well you got here just in time, thanks. As soon as Obama gets these jobs rolling , I’ll give up this funny stuff and get my ass to work.

As for future spending of your comedy dollars, might i recommend Dennis Miller

June 21st, 2010
Categories: The Blog . Author: admin . Comments: No Comments